On January 22, 2013
My dad came home with the type of news you only see in one of those gut-punching, horrific Lifetime movies. I’m in the living room and I watch him as he stumbles his way through. He sits in the old rocking chair adjacent to me, looks down at the tile with his hands covering his face, and mumbles, “Your mom had a heart attack at work today. She’s in critical condition, and we don’t know what’s coming next.”
I don’t think I can stand… did I hear him correctly? This would be the worst joke he’s ever told.
I, drunkenly at this point, ask him to repeat himself as if the second time will give me better news… but, no, that didn’t happen. He sobs and cries a sound so piercing that it fills me with guttural pain, rage, and sadness. It is then that I realize that I am about to be 17 years old without a mother.
You know where this is going: on January 30, 2025, my mom dies at University Medical Center in New Orleans, LA.
I broke HARD. Countless times over the years, I have fallen to my knees pleading with the universe as to why this had to have been my start. My mom was the matriarch, house leader, advocate for my brother, and a force to be reckoned with at her job.
And then she collapsed.
At her job.
The woman who did it all with no breaks, a known heart condition, two demanding children that had their own needs, a divided family, and her faith in the God she desperately served.
She broke. And then the weight fell onto me… and honestly, that weight never lifted off my shoulders – now, I embrace it. That “weight” is my warm-up because I’m giving myself the permission to live my life on my terms: not as a mom, or wife, but as Margaret – the med spa owner that had EVERYTHING stacked against her and dug myself out of every mental foxhole you could imagine.
Women shouldn’t be belittled when we speak up.
– Women shouldn’t be given a lighter diagnosis because the doctor dismisses our concerns.
– Women shouldn’t be giving birth with a limited or no support system, and then succumb to stress later on.
I mentioned earlier that I didn’t feel anger when my mom’s death happened, because I saved my rage for a later date. Psychotic? You’re the judge of that when I tell you what I’ve built – a med spa with only 5-star reviews, a career in executive leadership with a growing cardiovascular-focused platform, and I’m a mom of two boys under 3 years old.
My anger fueled my drive for my spa business because I thought about the women who never had the opportunity to think outside of themselves. I see women; I see the pain, the “I want to look better for insert stupid guy here”, the “sorry I’m late, the kids needed me”, etc. I built a business based on my rage because I don’t give a HOOVER DAM(n) — if I want it, it’s mine, and I will stop at nothing to get whatever “it” is.
My list to reclaim you:
1. FT Hen Kids – not really! But, if you want to not turn into a deranged mom that may or may not be too close to the vodka stash… walk away from the kids and set a dedicated time for YOU. We literally cannot be everything, and it’s okay to say, “Mommy needs cool-down time.” Bonus: if they’re teens, shut your door just like they do. You have my permission to reclaim access to you without guilt.
2. Delegation – If you have the money, consider a cleaning service, part-time nanny, side-boyfriend (kidding), but hire someone who can help you with your needs, as you cannot do it all. It’s a losing battle, and by the time you feel it, Jesus will be giving you a high-five with a welcome sign.
3. Fall in love with you: Hey sexy lady, it’s time to reserve a day for you – get your hair done, nails painted, a walk in the park (free!), a pilates class on YouTube (free!), and go to lunch. You miss you, so talk to her.
4. Sleep: I know doom-scrolling has you in a chokehold because this has been your only moment of quiet all day, but, girl, that TikTok will be there in the morning. When you’re asleep, none of that daily BS matters as your muscles repair, heart rate stabilizes, and hormones regulate. Sleep.
5. Say NO: Girl, I know it’s hard for some of us because the last thing you want to be labeled as is “mean” or the B word (sorry, Beatrice), but no means no. How many times have you gone against your intuition and said yes? Now, you’re at a job you don’t want to be at or at that family dinner with Crazy Aunt Lucy. Your boundaries are your superpower, and in today’s world, so take full advantage.
This is it.
Rage fueled my boundaries. I built this system because my mama never had one. No one told her to rest. No one asked if they could take the pressure off her. She never slept. She never did anything for herself. She ran on autopilot and left me with the black box of her missed experiences and deep-rooted pain. I hear my mama more now in death than I did when she was here.
Sit with that for a minute.
Yes, life is already hard, but we can make these demons our lightest weight on leg-day if we see them as fuel for the next best thing.
The first step is believing that you deserve it – so let’s start there.
Name: Margaret Randall
Professional Title: Medical Spa Owner And Physician Recruiter
Bio: Margaret Randall is a native of New Orleans, LA, with a heart to inspire women to utilize their internal demons to their advantage. She lost it all – her mother at 17, many failed businesses, and no familial support. Just the drive she cultivated and demons she overcame to build her business.
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