The Impact of Suppressing Women’s Anger on Mental Health
As women, many of us were taught that anger is “bad”, something to be avoided and definitely not expressed. From a young age, we learn that anger is unpleasant, and to be unpleasant is to be unworthy. These messages often come from our families and are reinforced by society. While we are all born with a natural anger response to boundary violations, women have been conditioned not to feel or express it.
Numerous studies indicate that anger in men is seen as confident, strong, and credible. In contrast, women expressing the same emotion are often viewed as emotional, irrational, or even unhinged. Men are not only allowed to be angry; they are praised for it. Conversely, women face prohibitions against expressing anger and are shamed into denying its existence. The message is clear: stay silent. Yet, denying our anger means denying our truth, experiences, longings, and needs. Responding to our anger can bring disruption, which is the revolutionary change we desperately need.
The Power of Acknowledging Women’s Anger
Rebecca Traister, author of Good and Mad: The Revolutionary Power of Women’s Anger, states, “What is bad for women, when it comes to anger, are the messages that cause us to bottle it up, let it fester, keep it silent, feel shame, and isolation for ever having felt it. What is good for us is opening our mouths and letting it out, permitting ourselves to feel it and say it and think it and act on it.”
Anger is not only an emotional response; it is a rational reaction to the constant threats and violent acts women face daily. It can propel us from pain to hope, from compliance to change. Severing ourselves from this protective emotion only fuels the dangers and injustices we encounter. Instead of shaming women’s anger, we should ask, “Why?” and learn to listen to its messages with compassion. By embracing our anger, we can express it responsibly and foster righteous anger in each other and our daughters.
In Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women’s Anger, Soraya Chemaly argues that “our anger is not only justified; it is also an active part of the solution. Approached with conscious intention, anger is a vital instrument, a radar for injustice and a catalyst for change.” Yet, the societal belittlement of our anger limits our power—a situation we can no longer tolerate.
The Health Impacts of Suppressing Anger
Women have been shamed into suppressing their anger, which often leads to physical and mental health issues like high blood pressure, heart disease, depression, and anxiety. Suppression can also result in relationship problems and self-sabotaging behaviors. Even when women do feel anger, they often don’t know how to express it constructively. Sublimation allows individuals to channel negative emotions into socially acceptable activities, benefiting personal and societal health.
In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), anger is considered a primary emotion significantly impacting health. Associated with the wood element and spring, anger is viewed as a natural response to interruptions in growth and movement. By welcoming anger as a messenger and fuel for transformation, we can harness its energy for necessary change. TCM sees anger as vital; it is the energy that allows a flower to bloom.
Despite our anger leading to significant positive social changes—think of movements like suffrage, civil rights, and women’s liberation—we are still pressured to remain silent. Initiatives like the #SayHerName campaign and the #MeToo movement illustrate how women’s anger can challenge norms and advocate for justice. These movements have prompted essential conversations about accountability and led to changes in policies regarding sexual harassment.
Creating Safe Spaces for Women’s Anger
Anger among women is a universal experience that crosses cultural, social, and political boundaries. Creating safe spaces where girls and women can express their justifiable anger towards patriarchy is essential. Parents should discuss healthy ways to recognize and communicate feelings of anger with their daughters. Educational institutions can incorporate strategies to address anger related to systemic oppression. Open dialogues about anger and the limitations imposed by patriarchal society can diminish the stigma surrounding female rage, fostering a healthier, more equitable world.
While you may not have received an invitation to feel and express your anger, I invite you to do so. Listen to your sisters when they express their anger, and stop shaming your daughters for feeling it. Recognize the power that anger holds and harness it for the greater good. Use it as a catalyst for the changes we are collectively experiencing. Feel, express, and act wisely. Your life may depend on it.
About the Author
Name: Natasha Bacca
Professional Title: Reiki Master, Art Professor, Ordained Minister
Bio: Natasha Bacca is an art professor, reiki master, and domestic violence survivor. After leaving an abusive relationship, she is devoted to helping women lead better lives. Natasha lives in Oregon with her son and a clowder of cats, where she enjoys spending time in nature and following her spiritual path.
