An ACE In My Pocket: Defeating the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Trauma
Children are resilient – at least, that’s what we like to believe. They fall, they cry, they get back up. They argue, they forgive, they move on. Their bounce-back rate seems almost magical. But here’s the truth behind the curtain: some scars don’t heal with time. Some bruises aren’t on the skin. And sometimes, what seems like resilience is actually quiet survival.
Behind those smiles, many children carry a secret – a burden called trauma. And unless it’s addressed, it doesn’t just stay hidden – it grows. It evolves. It infiltrates adulthood and silently rewrites the narrative of someone’s life. This is the reality of Adverse Childhood Experiences, or ACEs – a term you may have heard before, but may not fully understand.
What is an ACE?
An ACE isn’t just about scraped knees or playground conflicts. It’s about trauma that reaches into the core of a child’s being. Abuse, neglect, and dysfunction within the household – these are the cards some children are dealt in life, with no ability to reshuffle the deck. And the impact? It’s devastating.
A landmark 2019 study confirmed what survivors have long known: childhood trauma can lead to chronic health issues, both mental and physical. In fact, people with four or more ACEs are at significantly greater risk for five of the ten leading causes of death in the U.S.
Let that sink in.
ACEs come in three main categories:
– Abuse – Physical, emotional, or sexual.
– Neglect – Emotional or physical deprivation.
– Household Dysfunction– Domestic violence, addiction, mental illness, or instability at home.
The connection between these early-life traumas and adult struggles is not just psychological – it’s biological. Trauma changes our epigenetics – the way our genes express themselves. And worse, this genetic shift can be passed to our children. Trauma, quite literally, can be inherited.
My Story: Turning Pain Into Purpose
I know this story intimately – because I lived it.
As a child, I was sexually abused. I didn’t tell a soul until adulthood. It felt like a secret rotting me from the inside out. I wore masks, played roles, and ran far from the truth. But no matter how far I went, I couldn’t outrun myself.
It wasn’t until I stared into the mirror and faced the root of my pain that I began to heal. Before that, my life was a cycle of self-destruction, toxic relationships, and internal warfare. I was fighting a ghost I never named. That ghost was trauma.
The Pandemic’s Added Layer of Pain
The COVID-19 pandemic added another layer to an already crushing weight. Abuse and violence surged globally:
– 40% of rape crisis centers in the U.S. saw increased demand.
– Spain reported an 18% spike in domestic violence calls.
– France saw a 30% increase in sexual and domestic violence.
The statistics are alarming, but they reveal a deeper truth: trauma isn’t always visible, but its reach is wide—and growing.
How Do We Heal? The ACE in Your Pocket
To defeat the ACEs that were dealt to you, I invite you to hold on to a new set of ACEs— the kind that helps you heal and thrive:
1. A – Acceptance
– Denial protects us in the short term, but healing requires truth. Acknowledge what happened. Name the pain. As poet Emily Dickinson wrote, “The best way out is through.”
2. C – Choose
– Choose to forgive, to release, to move forward. Choose better relationships. Choose to believe you are worthy of love and respect. Healing starts with a choice – over and over again.
3. E – Educate
– Share your story. Write. Speak. Advocate. Be the voice you needed as a child. By educating others, you help end the silence. You raise awareness. You save lives.
From Surviving to Thriving
Unresolved trauma becomes the lens through which we see the world. It colors our relationships, decisions, and self-worth. But when we heal, we change that lens. We lighten the load.
I no longer see myself as a victim of my past. I see myself as a warrior of transformation. By trading the ACE I was given for the ACE in my pocket, I reclaimed my power—and you can too.
Healing from trauma isn’t linear, and it’s not easy. But it is possible. Your pain doesn’t have to be your life sentence. With acceptance, choice, and education, it can become your platform.
So speak out. Speak up. Speak often. Keep that ACE in your pocket – and thrive.
RESOURCES:
If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse or struggling with trauma, help is available. Contact:
– National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD
– RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network): 1-800-656-HOPE
– SAMHSA National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP
You are not alone. You are not broken. And your story is not over.
Thrive Magazine | Because Surviving Isn’t Enough. Thrive.
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About the Author
Name: Anu Verma
Professional Title: Author And Podcast Host Of Victim 2 Victor
Bio: Anu Verma is The Author And Podcast Host Of Victim 2 Victor. A Survivor Of Abuse, She Empowers Others To Heal And Live Without Shame. Through Books, Podcasts, And Film, Anu Is A Bold Voice For Trauma Recovery, Resilience, And Transformation.
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