Self-love and the Power of Love
When exploring the power of love, there is a dichotomy that is inherent in its nature. Love is a profoundly significant term, yet it encompasses two distinct aspects. Love can be used to manipulate and destroy individuals, and it can also be utilized to uplift and to encourage those around us. People use love in a myriad of different ways, but I am going to go into the good parts of it, as well as the bad parts.
When people use the word love genuinely, it makes us feel warm and toasty, like a warm heated blanket with hot cocoa. Oftentimes, we get stuck in that feeling, even when it no longer exists; or worse, it was never real to begin with! Many people use love to tear others down, to keep them close for their own benefit, and to manipulate situations to benefit themselves. Growing up, we are taught that we’re supposed to stay close and connected to everyone around us. But as we get older, we begin to learn our own journey, and we begin to see life through a different lens, based on our own journey and purpose.
The Role of Trauma in Understanding Love
Trauma can play a negative role when it comes to love, typically because when we experience childhood trauma, we have a skewed vision of what love truly looks like. We oftentimes go in and out of toxic relationships with people who we believe love us because of the lovebombing journey we experience in the beginning of each relationship (because remember, love is sometimes used for manipulation and personal gain). With trauma, love can be very tricky, and when you have childhood trauma, you really don’t understand what love looks like or what it feels like. Additionally, the aesthetics of love can appear very captivating, and intriguing because we don’t know internally what that really feels like!
This inability to understand love can lead us to form connections with individuals who don’t deserve it, often resulting in deep emotional pain. While many of us stay in these relationships, there’s an internal/dull pain that we carry with us…and throughout our lives. This pain can be difficult to recognize and/or understand, so we bury it with excessive use of things like alcohol, substances, people, etc. in a desperate plea for the pain to go away.
The Importance of Self-love in Healing
The journey to pursuing self-love is vital to truly understand its meaning and purpose. When we embody self-love, our intuition becomes activated, sending signals throughout our body. For instance, anxiety may not always be a clinical issue; sometimes it’s just a response to the company we keep, alerting us to potential danger.
There are people we spend time with who may be talking negatively about us minutes before we meet up! Our body is aware of this, and it acts as a form of protection when we learn how to pay attention to it. Self-love signals to us that what we’re experiencing is not true love or the genuine essence of love. This is where discernment comes into play; you can either choose to stick with what seems safe externally, or heed your intuitive feelings, even if the outcome is uncertain.
Trauma can also keep us trapped in demeaning relationships and situations that don’t serve us. When we wonder why we’re not progressing in life, this is often the reason. Life doesn’t reward us when we fail to love ourselves.
Recognizing True Love Through Self-love
On the other hand, when love is positive, it feels incredible – truly amazing! Genuine love is unconditional, characterized by the realization that someone genuinely cares for and loves us. Our soul and spirit resonate with it (and our nervous system thanks us for it). When it’s genuine, your body will naturally align, much like how our body acclimates to the temperature of cold water. When we are surrounded by true love, our intuition senses it and understands it.
Often, we struggle to distinguish between those who love us and those who don’t. The remedy for this confusion is self-love, everything starts to fall in place. You will begin to manifest all the positive things life has to offer, and the negative things that do not align with you, will naturally fall apart. I am so confident in the journey I’ve taken toward self-love and the steps necessary to achieve peace and love.
Self love means saying no, It means acknowledging, “I hear you, but my feelings tell me something different.” It is so important to understand these things because without it, our mental health will inevitably suffer!
About the Author
Name: Kwan Patton
Professional Title: Licensed Clinical Therapist
Bio: My name is Kwan Patton, and I am a Licensed Mental Health Therapist dedicated to fostering self-love as a pathway to healing and empowerment. I am reaching out to share insights and personal experiences that can resonate with your readers who may be struggling with mental health challenges.
