The Hat of Motherhood
November 16th 2023, I stood on stage at a demonstration meeting for a prospective Toastmasters club. That night, I delivered an icebreaker speech with a twist. Instead of the usual who I am, where I’m from and what I do for a living, I decided to introduce myself with the label I have carried with me for almost twelve years – mother.
The speech title was a play on words from a Toastmasters International training series entitled “A Toastmaster Wears Many Hats”. The purpose of the training series is to underscore the various roles a Toastmaster can take on during the course of a regular meeting. As a dedicated Toastmaster, I shared that while I change hats every week, sometimes wearing more than one at any given time, the one hat that remains a constant is that of being a mother.
“Despite the drama surrounding his appearance in the world, London is thoughtful, curious, intelligent and affectionate.”
One week before Mother’s Day 2013, my doctor confirmed via ultrasound that I would wear the hat of motherhood for the very first time. Unexpected and unplanned, I spent the next nine months preparing for life as a duo. If there was ever any indication of what this journey would look like for me, it was evident in my labor. After two days of contractions and stalling at a 6 cm dilation for three hours, London Elijah Nathaniel was born via Cesarean on December 24th, 2013 at exactly 40 weeks. I often joke that he was stubborn even in the womb. Never one to be rushed, he will emerge when he is ready.
Despite the drama surrounding his appearance in the world, London is thoughtful, curious, intelligent and affectionate. He makes motherhood a joy. As I began my personal evolution in pursuing my life goals, I realized London was evolving too. He was no longer the preschooler who refused to speak in class. Today, London is an honor roll student and leader, he demonstrates care for the environment and has his own list of personal goals.
When my experience in public speaking and leadership blossomed, I fielded a constant question: Where do I find the time to do it all?
“Think about what your hat of motherhood looks and feels like.”
How do I maintain a 9-5 while working on my personal ventures? I want to share with other mompreneurs how I manage to keep my mommy hat intact, while being an active public speaker and aspiring life coach:
Communicate your non-negotiables.
Missing London’s honor roll assemblies, or not shuttling him to his extra curricular activities are not options.
Compromise where you can.
There are times London attends my Toastmasters meetings when childcare falls through. He actually has developed an appreciation for the program.
Call on your tribe.
No matter how it looks, I can’t do it all. There are times I travel for conferences or conventions that are not child friendly. Those are the moments I strengthen my co-parenting muscle and lean on extended family.
Carve out one on one time.
Whether it’s spending a Saturday at the movies, or those moments during school commute, it’s important for me to be intentional about the time I spend with London that doesn’t involve being a super school mom or star speaker. Just Mommy moments are key.
Think about what your hat of motherhood looks and feels like. My hat is like a tam – very close to my scalp, sometimes uncomfortably hot and itchy. Yet, it’s always there keeping my head covered and warm when life gets icy.
I wouldn’t trade my hat for anything in the world!
About the Author
Name: Linda Clarke
Professional Title: Financial Services Professional, Convention & Workshop Presenter, Coach to TEDx Speakers, Organizational Leader, and Aspiring Coach
Bio: Linda Clarke is a Real Estate Manager with an asset management company based in New Providence, The Bahamas. She has been a fixture in the financial services industry for twenty-five years including a stint in the Bahamas Government sector with the Ministry of Finance. She holds an LLM in International Finance and Banking Law from the University of Liverpool. She also holds an LLB (Hons) from the University of Huddersfield. Linda later obtained her Project Management Certification from the International Business Training Association. Linda’s professional accolades include: Lean Six Sigma Practitioner designation, two-time Royal Performance winner for operational soundness and excellence, employee of the year and three-time top sales performer. In addition to her professional accolades, Linda is a passionate and accomplished public speaker.
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