I was 16 years old when I made a vow to myself that when I reached midlife and the empty nest, I would make the most of the second half of my life. I know it seems odd that a teenager would be thinking about midlife, but I have my mother to thank for giving me this foresight.
Little did she know that the example she set was one that I would refuse to follow. Let me explain.
When I was 15, my older sister left for college. I remember that day very well. The car was packed, hugs were exchanged, and off my parents drove with my sister. When my parents returned later that day, my mother complained of feeling ill and went to bed.
The next morning, she stayed in bed instead of taking me to school. And she didn’t get out of bed for SIX WEEKS, complaining of vague symptoms. I was terrified that she was dying, and I couldn’t understand why she stopped taking care of me.
After six weeks in bed, my mother finally agreed to go to the doctor, where the doctor concluded that there was nothing physically wrong with her. It was clear that she was suffering from Empty Nest Syndrome.
She sank into a deep depression and later that winter stopped talking to me. I came home from school one day to find her staring out the window. It was at that moment that I vowed to myself that I would not follow her example and that when my future children left the nest, I would make the most of the second half of my life.
Your children are watching…
Fast forward a few decades to the day when I returned from taking my youngest of three sons to college. As I opened the door and walked into my empty house, the memories of the past 22 years raising my sons and the echoes of their voices filled my soul. My eyes welled with tears as I knew I was standing at a fork in the road of my life…
I had a choice to make:
1. Do I succumb to the sadness and curl up in bed in the fetal position, playing the last 22 years over and over again in my head, wondering how and why the time went by so quickly?
2. Do I heed the vow that I made to myself at age 16 when I witnessed my mother go to bed for six weeks after my sister left for college?
Rather than wallowing in my Empty Nest misery, I made a conscious decision that I would fulfill the vow I made to my 16-year-old self. I realized that the Empty Nest and midlife is a land of opportunity – to try things you put aside while raising your children…to find new interests and a renewed sense of purpose in your life.
And your children are watching…
I never wanted my children to experience the fear and pain that I experienced when my mother went to bed after my sister went to college. Instead, I wanted to be an example to my children of how to rock the second half of your life, so that they not only wouldn’t need to worry about me but would also see how to age gracefully and have fun.
I’ve been in this midlife journey for quite a few years. To make the most of this time, I knew that I had to get clear on who I was in this new phase, and what I wanted to do. While I’ve been working full-time as an attorney throughout my midlife journey, I viewed the blank spaces on my calendar as opportunities to explore and have fun.
I’ve since become an athlete and Peloton-obsessed; an internationally exhibited, self-trained abstract artist; the author of the Unstoppable Mornings Journal and The Midlife Reboot: The Ultimate Five-Step Plan for Midlife Women to Break Free and Step Boldly into the Second Half of Their Life; the host of Midlife Unleashed with Julie Waas on YouTube; a professional speaker and a coach for midlife women.
You don’t need to be athletic, artistic, or an author to find fun and meaning in midlife and beyond. Take the time to reflect on your life so far, focus on what you want to do and who YOU want to be in your second half. And I’m here to help you make that plan.
The Midlife Reboot: The Ultimate Five-Step Plan for Midlife Women to Break Free and Step Boldly into the Second Half of Their Life contains a framework for midlife women to follow when creating a plan for the second half of their lives.
It is filled with exercises and journal prompts designed to enable you to create an action plan for the rest of your life.
I’ve also created The Midlife Reboot online course which contains all of the exercises and activities in the book in an easy-to-follow format.
The course also comes with membership in the Second Half Society, a private community of women on the midlife journey where I will provide coaching and the members can build relationships and share ideas.
Midlife is not an ending. It’s the launchpad to the best years of your life!
And remember…your children are watching.
Name: Julie Reby Waas
Professional Title: Life Coach
Bio: Julie Waas is a coach, attorney, artist, and speaker who empowers midlife women to step into their second half with confidence and clarity. She is the author of The Midlife Reboot and helps women reinvent their lives, embrace possibility, and see midlife as a powerful launchpad for purpose.
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