On stage with the spotlight right on my face, feeling the heat of my nerves rise up and overtake me, my mouth feels like the Sahara Desert, it’s difficult to catch my breath, my palms are sweating (as well as everything else), and I’m pretty sure I’m about to pass out.
This was when I thought about or attempted to speak up in front of others, whether it be on a virtual or in-person platform, or simply speaking up among my colleagues and throughout my industry.
Even the sheer thought of speaking out made me have this very physical reaction. Mentally, all the doubt would creep in. I’d tell myself things like: “You aren’t tenured enough to speak up. You are going to sound stupid if you mention that. What type of interesting story could you possibly have to tell? Do you think you are better or smarter than anyone else?” and so on.
You see, I’m an introvert and us introverts don’t typically desire to speak up or speak out. Just having conversations one on one often seems challenging enough, let alone sharing more personal stories or speaking in front of a group of people. As an introvert, I think of my happy place as a little comfort bubble.
I have a few close friends and my family that I can truly share all of me with. My natural instinct is to compartmentalize who I am with friends and family separately from who I am as a business professional, who I am as a church family member, who I am as a coach, and every other side of me. Ugh, but do you know how exhausting that is?
I finally got to a point (encouraged by seeing other women doing this) where I just want to be all me regardless of the territory. Here’s what I know about slicing out this compartmentalization of ourselves. It comes with freedom, momentum, a true interpersonal understanding of who you are, a wider network of friends and supporters, and newly found confidence!
This all sounds fantastic, right? But how do you get to this “awakening” so to say? Do you just wake up one day and start telling everybody on the street about your biggest fears, your failures, your hopes and dreams, your insecurities? “Hey, Mr. cashier at my local grocery store! Did you know that I used to have panic attacks every day before class in college?
Oh yea! They got so bad that I kept losing feeling in my hands. Have you ever had that? No? Okay, thanks for listening!” … No, I’m not suggesting that at all.
I am suggesting vulnerability as the key to stepping out of your introverted bubble and into your de-compartmentalized best version of yourself! One more time for the people in the back; VULNERABILITY IS THE KEY TO BEING YOUR TRUE SELF AND BEST SELF IN EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE!
Here’s how I know this. Below you’ll see two lists. The first list shows the reasons why I kept quiet & chose not to share my story or whole self. The second list is what actually has happened since I’ve been vulnerable.
Why I Wasn’t Vulnerable
– Didn’t want to appear weak
– Worried I would seem overly emotional
– Felt it was best to blend in
– Imposter Syndrome – If I get vulnerable, people might know I’m a fraud at work, church, among friends…
—
The Reality of Being Vulnerable
– People see me as real and genuine
– I’m helping others to share their story as well
– I now have the ability to build stronger relationships – personal and professional
– I stand out as someone who goes for it, a positive in both professional and personal settings
– Developed a sisterhood community
– I’m proud of being a woman with a voice
– I am confident in who I am and how I’m perceived, because it’s all out there
I wonder if you’ve had the same concerns? Based on conversations I’ve had with women in my network, I bet that most of you have and especially so if you are an introvert! What I know is that being vulnerable has allowed me to improve myself personally and professionally as well as help other women do the same.
We need to start viewing vulnerability as the strength that it is. Don’t just take it from me, Dr. Ella F. Washington wrote for Forbes earlier this year about the power of vulnerability at work.
She shares how being vulnerable at work builds trust and shows trust as well as showing that we are comfortable and confident in our own skin! This can leave an even great impact if you are in a leadership position and you choose to share your vulnerabilities (Tapping Into The Power Of Vulnerability At Work).
Action Step: I’ll leave you with this, I challenge you to step away from this article and start sharing your story. Start with sharing with a friend group, then share a vulnerability with a trusted coworker, lean into sharing your dreams for your future on your social media, and share something you stress about with your colleague or employer.
You can make a change in yourself and for others by simply sharing your whole self and getting vulnerable. Go out there and tell the world all about you!
Name: Emily Jackson
Professional Title: Speaker, Author, Career Transition Coach
Bio: Emily Jackson is a sales professional, speaker, coach, & author. She is a career transition coach and esteemed speaker. As an experienced conqueror over self-doubt, anxiety, and confusion, Emily helps women discover their path and their purpose in life.
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