Words are easily said yet can cut so very deep.
When you say words that make fun of someone, put them down, words about how they look, these words can stay with them for a lifetime.
I know because I have experienced bullying most of my life.
Bullying can chip away at your confidence, chip away at who you are, leaving you feeling no longer like you inside.
Each bullying comment made can feel like the same day repeating, a vicious cycle, riding a merry-go-round, not able to get off.
I was bullied throughout my school years, I remember those years like it was yesterday, the moments where I was seen as a “square”, moments where you were told to say something inappropriate and then you were sent out of class, moments where I was ganged up on, my own friends falling to peer pressure, forgetting they were your friend, dobbing you into the bullies, moments that changed your life in ways you never believed.
Sadly, bullying didn’t leave me just in my school years; it followed me into relationships, a marriage, where control, manipulation, bullying, and abuse affected me many a day.
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When your voice is silenced and you no longer have control of who you are, you feel like a piece of you is missing, lost, never to be found, doubt creeps in, you no longer recognize the person you have become.
Today the impact of bullying is just as real; it is still a major issue, as well as face-to-face bullying, bullying can happen online, through social media. Bullies are now hiding behind screens, not even showing their face, sending hateful comments, hateful messages, totally influencing how someone feels about themselves.
Silent struggles of bullying, both in person and online, take away hopes and dreams, breaking it down to the core, breaking it into tiny pieces until there is nothing left.
A life can change in an instant because of words said, you can withdraw from all of your friends, family, those who support you, you are told not to tell anyone, you are scared, too afraid to speak up, so you are left in this world of loneliness where it is just you and the bullies.
It is not a world you want to be in.
When you lack confidence and belief in yourself, when bullying takes over your life, you no longer want to do the things you love, you just want to shut yourself away so no one can see you, often you start to believe the things the bullies are saying, you look at yourself in a different way.
Bullying unfortunately took a drastic toll in my life, I hit rock bottom, I felt a shell of myself, and the confidence I had left was rocked; I found myself in a deep, dark hole, struggling to get out.
It took me a long time to find my strength, find my courage, my confidence within myself to get back up and to find myself again, but I eventually did.
I found the courage, strength, and belief in myself to stand up and keep going; it took a lot, I could not have done it alone though; I had to reach out for help. Action Step: Whatever you do, do not be afraid to reach out for help; it truly saved me from spiraling even further. Surround yourself with people who support you; it is difficult, but you must step away from the negative people in your life; you need support, not more criticism and put-downs.
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Something that also saved me in 2020 was my writing of affirmations, positive phrases I would read regularly, changing my mindset, giving me confidence and belief in myself that I could do anything and I could chase dreams.
I will always be grateful I found affirmations; they have truly helped me to heal and be the person I am today, confident and empowered.
Affirmations have given me back my power, my life, given me back my voice, and changed my life 100%.
Words in my head give me the strength to stand up to bullies, speak up, and speak out, giving hope to others when hope seems lost and lights dimmed.
I now stand up to bullies; I am not afraid to use my voice.
I am back braver and stronger than ever, I am confident, I now control my own life, I believe in myself, and I can do anything I want to do.
There is an affirmation I wrote, and I look at it many a day, it reminds me that it is my life and I can do anything and I control my own life, no one else, me: – (Quote is written by Kristen herself)
“I can do anything,
I control my own life,
I believe in myself,
this is my life!
My life has gone from being a shell of myself, 100% negative most of the time to 100% positive and ready to take on anything.
You can have a life you want to have even after bullying.
Writing has enabled me to find my inner self and to stand up for myself, to speak up and speak out, to protect myself, surrounding myself with positive people, giving me strength and courage to live a life I want to live and not a life others want me to live.
Always remember you do matter, you are amazing.
Name: Kristen Macdonald
Professional Title: Card Designer/writer/author
Bio: A passionate artist from a little girl collecting cards, now running her own business, capturing stories. Writer of affirmations, challenges of bullying, manipulation and control, now sharing writing to others, an author of affirmation book, now in 21 school libraries and 2 public libraries, winner of awards. Loves cooking.
