Every passion has merit, but we don’t always feel that way when we begin to compare our passion to those of others. Comparison is always self-defeating because no one is exactly the same. Yes, some people’s passion will seem grander than yours, but that doesn’t mean yours lacks merit. I learned this lesson recently, and I thought it was worth sharing.
My personal passion pursuit
As a retired English teacher, I spent years reading and studying classic novels. In those same years I wrote numerous papers and journal articles analyzing, explaining, and critiquing the literary elements of these preferred works. I was essentially doing the work that I was supposed to do as a literature teacher. It was my job, and I did it well. But it was a job, not my passion; and unlike others in my field, I didn’t particularly enjoy all of the required reading. This fact always made me feel a little bit like an imposter. I understand now that I wasn’t an imposter. Instead, my career responsibilities just weren’t my passion.
These days I’m retired from teaching, and I’m a romance-suspense author. I must say, life is great having the liberty to read and write what I like. Every day I do the work that inspires me, and I exhibit my true creative energy, which I believe is a real blessing.
Finding confidence
Being so confident and poised in my craft did not come naturally, however. There were challenges. For example, romance writers are expected to bring a little heat to the page. Initially, it was stressful deciding how much spice got added to the sauce. Part of the difficulty is that spicy content is so subjective. My “5 chili pepper” book might only rate as a “3” for someone else. Preferences vary.
When I first started writing, I was worried about how my mom and her friends would react to the romantic pursuits in my novels. I was worried about being too spicy for them and also not spicy enough for the polar opposite reader. And then it hit me – I don’t have to write a book everyone likes. I just need to write what I want, what I feel, what fuels me. By doing that, my audience will gravitate to my unique insights. Would it be nice if everyone liked my style? Absolutely! But am I obsessing over every detail, hoping not to offend someone or hoping I use the right words and create the right content to make everyone happy? Not anymore. But just as I came into my own and got in the groove of my style, a naysayer challenged the merit of my passion.
Defending my passion
Once, after a presentation where I also read a passage from one of my books, I was asked to explain the ‘merit’ in my work. The tone of this man’s query was unmistakable. He definitely thought writing romance lacked merit. After my mood swung wildly from shocked to confusePd to ticked off, I collected my scattered thoughts and formed a rather scathing reply. I must say, I was quite pleased that I left my adversary with the same shocked response he initially gave me.
My reply went something like this:
Well, Sir, I can use words to make you feel the tickle of hot breath on your neck, and then send a sensual ripple through your skin and down your spine. I can then make you feel the first touch of soft, gentle lips on that spot right behind your ear and make your heart race. I believe that skill has merit. I can also make you cry uncontrollably over a breakup that’s not even real and that’s not even yours – a breakup between fictional characters that you love so much you’re not sure when you’ll recover enough to resume your regular, daily duties. There’s merit in that, too. Finally, I can make you experience something incredible that’s caught in the thrilling space between what’s unlikely and what’s possible. There is definitely merit in that ability. Just because our priorities are not the same, doesn’t mean that one of us is better than the other – smarter than the other. It just means I have a gift you don’t, and just because you don’t understand it, doesn’t mean it lacks merit.
Directly after delivering that punishing response, I felt like a champion. I was on cloud nine. It wasn’t long, however, and I was rethinking my decision to put that man in his place. Looking back, I handled that situation all wrong because no one should have to defend their choices regarding their passion pursuits. No one needs to explain the merit in the work that makes them happy— the work that expresses their creative soul. I should have simply said, “I don’t have to explain the merit in my work. The fact that it’s my passion explains it all.”
The illuminating truth
In the article The Right Way to Follow Your Passion, Brad Stulberg discusses the value of harmonious passion, a passion that’s pursued out of love. Stulberg then explains obsessive passion, which focuses on a reward. Discovering these two variations, I began to wonder if my love for writing romance novels would wane if no one bought them and if no one read them.
Ultimately, I circled back to my initial thoughts and feelings on this topic, and I arrived at my illuminating truth. I believe my passion should serve me above all others. If I write novels that speak from my soul and reflect my likes and my personality, the people in my circle will connect with them. The merit of this approach is now so obvious. I don’t have to feel obligated to write a bestselling novel. I just need to write one that I love.
These days, I write what I want. I write what I like. I give my work merit by using precise words to bring a fictional world to life. But mostly, I give my work merit by staying true to myself and not worrying about what everyone else wants and thinks. I’ve grown into my creativity and discovered it’s a blissful place to live. I highly recommend just being you and celebrating the merit of your passion. Just because some people won’t ‘get it’ doesn’t mean it’s not real.
For more powerful and inspiring articles championing your self-worth and your passion, check out the November issue of Women Thrive Magazine.
About the Author
Name: Marcy Bialeschki
Professional Title: Author, Mindset Creator, Speaker
Bio: Marcy Bialeschki is an award-winning, 1 bestselling author, and entrepreneur. A retired English and speech teacher as well as a school counselor, Marcy worked in education for 36 years before becoming a full-time author. Marcy has published numerous online articles, and a four-book romance suspense series titled The Vengeance Series. She is also the founder of Tastefully Sexy by MarcyB, an online business that coincides with her world of fiction.
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