Tell Us About Your Journey As A Mompreneur
I was on the ground, in the fetal position, contemplating suicide, when suddenly, I had a rush of inspiration come over me. The image came to my mind like a flash: pictures I saw as a 7-year-old in a magazine I found in the landfill while searching for trinkets to play with. This was the vision that inspired me to learn English as a second language and opened up countless opportunities for me before moving to the United States.
As I faced homelessness, as an immigrant and single mom of two toddlers, I remembered how my entrepreneurial endeavors launched me into a new life, where my dreams came true. I learned at that early age that I could use my gifts and skills to serve others and achieve my goals, even while living in extreme poverty. I decided to get up and start my platform, the Positive MOM ®.
This year marks the 20th anniversary of my platform and I am in awe of its evolution. My blog continues to inspire millions of moms in over 168 countries and I’ve been blessed to partner with over 500 brands, speak internationally, and support thousands of clients in becoming successful storytellers.
I love sharing with others that it all started with a commitment to work on my business ten minutes per day and 10 dollars per month, amidst great emotional turmoil, so it is possible for anyone to become a heart-centered messenger and profitable digital entrepreneur.
“As I faced homelessness, as an immigrant and single mom of two toddlers, I remembered how my entrepreneurial endeavors launched me into a new life.”
Why Do You Call Yourself A Student Of Pain?
At age 19, I had two experiences that shaped my life and have been the focal point of my five TEDx talks. In March of that year, I was kidnapped, assaulted, and almost murdered by a stranger. At the end of October, I was in a coma for eight days due to a car crash, in which I was a passenger.
What I learned through those experiences and that I’ve confirmed in over 25 years of research is that we must sit with our emotional pain with compassionate curiosity in order to process it and find the blessing in it. I call these “The Gifts of Pain,” which is the title of my book series, where I feature diverse people who use my S.T.O.R.Y System to share their painful experiences with the purpose of inspiring others and providing empowering tools for transformation.
Surviving tragedy, turmoil, and trauma throughout my life has taught me that when we downplay, dismiss, and deny our pain, we sabotage our purpose, possibility, and potential. However, when we have the courage to process our pain – revisit it, call it by its name, and meet it with compassion, we can learn something precious about ourselves, others, and life itself.
I Live By These Seven Fundamental Truths:
- Pain is the common thread of humanity.
- Pain demands presence, and in presence we find love.
- Pain can be a portal to peace, purpose, and positive growth.
- When we give ourselves permission to feel pain, we can end our suffering.
- When someone is in pain, don’t be positive, be present.
- Your vulnerability will liberate others.
- Validation is the prerequisite of vulnerability.
Being a Student of Pain means to embrace pain as an opportunity, because when we transform our pain, we stop transmitting it.
“Our brains are wired for storytelling. It is not only a powerful business tool, but it helps us combat false shame and stored trauma.”
Why Are You So Passionate About Storytelling?
I always talk about my first business: a cardboard puppet theater in the slum where I grew up. In school, I would ghostwrite letters, poems, and songs for my classmates, and I even wrote school plays.
However, I remember using expressive writing to process my suicidal thoughts as early as five years old. I discovered that storytelling and story-listening are simple, yet brave rituals that help us feel seen, safe, and supported even in the hardest of times.
As I grew up, I noticed that hiding my story meant I was hiding my authentic self. We do this because of fear – fear of judgment, fear of rejection, fear of failure. I’ve also experienced the miracle of sharing my emotional, vulnerable, raw stories, which has sustained me through so much adversity over the years.
Every time I publish a new book that tells my truth, whether poetry or memoir-style, I shed a layer of shame and access a new level of peace. Over time, I have studied the art and science of storytelling, and I teach and train individuals and organizations to harness its power to create sacred connections, thriving communities, and firm conviction.
Our brains are wired for storytelling. It is not only a powerful business tool, but it helps us combat false shame and stored trauma and encourages intentional action toward deep personal transformation. Stories allow us to get back to the essence of who we are, as we define who we will be in our own story.
“I believe that the first rule of being a leader and mom entrepreneur is to have grace for ourselves.”
What Wisdom Can You Share For Moms To Thrive As Leaders And Entrepreneurs?
I believe that the first rule of being a leader and mompreneur is to have grace for ourselves. Even though it is definitely challenging to add more tasks to the already long list of responsibilities that come with motherhood, and that means we can end up feeling exhausted, most of the obstacles we will face in this journey are “between our ears”.
Our struggles come from limiting beliefs such as imposter syndrome, perfectionism, a sense of defeat because of comparison and competition, and, sometimes, extreme loneliness.
I don’t think the secret to succeeding as a mompreneur is in time management – it is in mindset management. That’s why I recommend that we all set a daily date with pain. I developed this 2-minute, evidence-based practice to help us validate our own pain:
See
Visualize the images, past or future, that cause you pain
Sense
Scan your body to find the emotions you feel
Say
Address yourself by name and say words that validate your pain
My vision is that we all learn to validate our pain so we can have both the emotional resilience and emotional intelligence to lead with love, at home, at work, and in our entrepreneurial endeavors.
About the Author
Name: Elayna Fernández
Professional Title:
Bio: Founder of the Positive MOM®, award-winning Storyteller, and Student of Pain. As the creator of the S.T.O.R.Y. System for Transformational Storytelling and a Story Strategist, Elayna Fernández supports heart-centered messengers in turning their stories into meaningful impact and sustainable income.
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