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Motherhood: The Unspoken Truths

Motherhood: The Unspoken Truths

The Unspoken Truths of Motherhood

I sat on the floor of my closet, one hour into my sob fest, and questioned if I had it in me anymore. It had been one of those parenting weeks where I was ready to throw in the towel.

Then reality kicked in. My kids needed me, and more importantly, wanted me to be the person to dust off their falls or celebrate the first time they read a book by themself. And I wanted that too – for them, and for me. But I also wanted to love and want the version of me that wasn’t so triggered, touched out, and full of guilt for wondering if I ever made the right decision.

“Wondering if it really was in alignment with the perfectionist workaholic I was at my core.”

I’m going to share a motherhood perspective that often carries a lot of taboo, but I wish there was more space to talk about motherhood as something that isn’t always rainbows and sunshine. We’ve created socially acceptable narratives to talk about how our work drives us crazy, or our spouse who knows exactly how to push our buttons, or our parents’ lack of boundaries that make us feel like we have to parent them.

But when it comes to saying that motherhood didn’t bring out the best in us and it’s harder than we ever imagined, there’s an unspoken expectation that we’re supposed to love and be endlessly grateful for those tiny humans who turned our world upside down.

I’ve been a mom for 13 years, many of which I questioned if I made the right decision to have kids. Wondering if it really was in alignment with the perfectionist workaholic I was at my core.

Being a mother has been one of my greatest joys in life. As a consultant, it’s one of the very few projects I actually have the privilege of seeing through. Watching my children grow into the incredible, unique human beings they are becoming each and every day feels like a front row seat to the greatest play.

Yet it’s also one of the things that has completely and totally turned my world upside down, over and over again. Just when I feel like I’m getting the hang of it, we enter a new parenting phase. When I feel like I’ve done the inner work that helps me show up as the best version of me, another toddler meltdown or bout of teenage laziness triggers me like no one’s business.

Embracing the Challenges of Motherhood

It took me a decade to stop judging myself so hard for not always loving motherhood… I now realize that’s okay.
They have helped me become a version of me that my inner child never thought I would see. I know they are incredible members of the community because I put so much pressure on myself to model a good life to them.

But I also think it’s completely natural – and human – to sometimes dream about our future and play the “what if” scenarios of what a different family size would look like. To wonder if things would be easier with one less child, or to miss the freedom we had before becoming parents.

These thoughts don’t make us bad mothers. They make us honest.

There’s no “wrong” answer when it comes to how we feel about motherhood. It’s a complex, multifaceted experience that brings both immense joy and immense challenges. And it’s important to give ourselves permission to process all of those feelings – the good, the bad, and the ugly.

It’s okay if you’re feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or even a little bit resentful about motherhood. It’s okay to have moments (or weeks) where you feel like you do not love it. You’re not alone in these feelings, and you’re not a bad mom for having them. You’re simply a human being navigating one of the most challenging journeys life has to offer.

“Motherhood is a messy, beautiful, and often contradictory experience.”

For the mom who needs to hear that it’s okay to not be okay. I see you, I hear you, and I’m celebrating you for taking the time to process your feelings, whatever they may be.

Because in doing so, you’re not only honoring your own needs, but you’re also setting a powerful example for your children. You’re teaching them that it’s important to always be honest with ourselves and others.

Motherhood is a messy, beautiful, and often contradictory experience. And that’s the truth we need to be talking about.

*If you’re finding motherhood challenging, please remember you’re not alone. Reach out to loved ones, a trusted therapist, or support groups for the understanding and guidance you deserve. Motherhood was never meant to be a solo journey.


About the Author

Author - Gabrielle Hayes

Name: Gabs Hayes

Professional Title: Mindset & Lifestyle Strategist, Author, and Speaker

Bio: Gabs Hayes is a Mindset & Lifestyle Strategist, author, and speaker. She’s the founder of the Balance is Bullsh!t movement, empowering women globally to ditch the overwhelm of life’s messy seasons and create space for what truly matters. Gabs empowers women through engaging podcast episodes, personalized 1:1 strategy sessions, and dynamic workshop facilitation. She equips women with powerful strategies to tackle the “not enough” feeling, replace self-doubt with unwavering confidence, and craft a life full of intention and fulfilment. Beyond her career endeavours, Gabs cherishes time spent travelling with her kids, getting lost in books, and revitalizing her spirit at music festivals.

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Media platform spotlighting and celebrating entrepreneurial women and their achievements. Creating a platform where every woman can be seen and heard. We are disrupting the media industry by democratising media channels for women. If you have a business or an idea and you would like to rise and thrive, you are in the right place.
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