The REAL Essence of Success

What do Miley Cyrus, Emma Watson and Jennifer Lopez all have in common? (Besides being powerhouse performers on the global stage!).

They’ve all been public about their struggle with low self-worth.

Despite masses of success and seemingly confident exteriors, they have suffered from low self-esteem.

This may not come as a huge surprise; famous faces are becoming more open about their confidence and mental health struggles, and we understand that they too can struggle with imposter syndrome.

But to know that you can have critical acclaim, money in the bank, and be at the top of your career, and STILL feel unworthy generally points to one thing.

That the essence of success is feeling self-esteem. 

It’s feeling true self-love and self-worth. 

That’s why rich and successful people can have a lot of money, but still feel empty, unhappy, and unsatisfied. That’s often why people in healthy, loving relationships cheat. Nothing is going to fill that hole that your feelings of unworthiness create. And it’s not just about rich people or celebrities (obvs!). 

A 2021 survey by Gee Hair found that 2 out of 3 women are not confident in their ability to do their job. That is so many of us.

What I’ve seen and heard from women like you.

I speak to women all the time; fellow coaches, senior managers, and women entrepreneurs, who despite their success or absolute authority in their particular niche, still feel like they have a point to prove. They don’t feel that they are good enough, even if they, quite literally, have the award to prove it.

And what happens when we feel we have something to prove?

We worry more about what people think of us, so we give too much. We take on too much. We over-deliver. We undercharge.

Our boundaries become blurred (or non-existent!).

One coach I spoke to recently said she felt strong and confident in putting boundaries with friends and family and saying no when there was something she didn’t want to do. But when it came to work, she was giving away her time for free to an energy vampire because she was struggling to draw that line. She felt the need to prove she cared and was enough to help this person.

A business owner I spoke to said that a couple of her friends are in senior positions at global companies, earning 6-7 figure salaries and seemingly at the top of their profession. But when they all get together for a girl’s spa weekend, these women say they are rubbish and feel completely out of their depth.

As another example, a Company Director I know feels consumed by self-doubt because of her working-class background. It makes her question her decisions at work and feels uncomfortable in work situations that she feels are out of her depth (but most certainly aren’t!).

What to do if this sounds like you.

I know there will be some amazing women entrepreneurs and businesswomen reading this magazine. Perhaps this article is resonating with you. Maybe you’re already aware of your struggle with self-worth, or maybe it’s something you’re only just discovering.

But if you are bringing in the big bucks and still not feeling validated, or you are over-delivering in your organisation or business and are struggling with your boundaries, then you need to take a look at how deeply you are really feeling your success. 

This article from Women Thrive can help measure and focus on this feeling. You can also check out my website blog on imposter syndrome to see what resonates.

But essentially, you need to do the work to build your self-esteem and truly believe in your worth. You need to identify and rewire those beliefs that are stopping you from enjoying your success, AS WELL as the ones that are stopping you from achieving it.

And it’s worth it. Research has shown that those with higher self-worth earn on average, $7,000 (about £5,800) more than their peers with low self-worth. 

So, if you’re still feeling like you have a point to prove in order to feel good or worthy enough, or you still feel like a fraud who is “winging it”, then ask yourself; what are you doing to nurture your self-esteem and self-worth needs FIRST, in order to receive and enjoy what you truly deserve?

Why this all matters to me.

As a Self-Worth and Success coach, I help busy women to find their worth and feel GOOD ENOUGH so that they can create a life of true joy, success, and fulfillment. 

Come follow me on Instagram at @rosie_milsom_coaching for regular tips on boosting your self-worth and developing your self-esteem, or to share your thoughts.

About the Author

Name: Rosie Milsom

Professional Title: Self-Worth & Success Coach

Bio: Rosie is a certified life and self-love coach from the UK. Her main focus helping women to increase their sense of self-worth and heal their relationship with themselves so that they can find true purpose, love, success, and happiness. Rosie became a coach because she feels a deep sense of purpose in helping others.

Website: www.rosiemilsom.com

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