A story of burnout, trauma, and learning to take up space.
Ten years ago my body gave me a wake-up call and forced me to listen. It was 2016 and I knew that my life couldn’t continue the way it was. I knew I was meant for more.
I dug deep into the roots of my soul and found the courage to leave my husband at the time. There were numerous things that were wrong with our relationship which I won’t go into now, but I just knew deep down that this was not what I wanted my life to look like. So I left.
Of course it wasn’t quite as simple as that. It took time, planning, and evaluating – but I did it.
It meant I needed to move everything I had built elsewhere and start all over again. And that I did.
What followed was a sequence of events leading to me losing my voice. About eighteen months after my marriage ended I had been working 7 days a week, falling into people-pleasing behaviour and wearing my workaholic tendencies like a badge of honour. Don’t get me wrong, I loved hard work and am proud of my work ethic; however in this season of my life it was unhealthy. My mindset was focused on needing to make as much money as possible to ensure a roof over my head, food on the table and to be able to have at least a semblance of a social life. However this pattern of behaviour soon led to burnout and I burned out completely.
For some months I had been struggling with my voice. I was working as a performing arts teacher, coaching young people in singing, dancing, and acting for multiple different companies. So I was using my voice all day, every day.
It got to the point where I couldn’t project my voice over the music when teaching dance, I couldn’t sing certain notes or songs with the ease I once had and I found it challenging to demonstrate certain aspects of voice work to my drama students.
After about six months, I finally plucked up the courage to see my doctor and was referred to ENT so they could take a closer look. A few people had mentioned to me that they thought it could be vocal nodules, every performing arts professional’s nightmare and to my devastation, that was exactly the diagnosis.
I was told there and then that my nodules were from overuse and when the specialist asked me about my lifestyle, they could confirm it further in that moment. I was referred for speech therapy and my recovery started from there.
Speech therapy was incredible.
– It gave me more tools and techniques than I thought I needed.
– But what really struck me was that my therapist took the time to delve deeper into my lifestyle and personal history.
– She deduced that not only were my nodules from overuse but also a trauma response to the way I had felt silenced in my marriage.
That my voice and opinions, thoughts, and feelings just weren’t valued. I had felt silenced, squashed, and suffocated. This was my body’s way of releasing this. I had to sit with this feeling of how my body had responded for a long time.
I decided to pursue more ways to heal. Reiki was utterly life-changing.
– It was a nervous system reset, a way to feel grounded and give myself permission to stop each week and reflect.
– I also went into therapy, talking therapy mostly, to move through everything I’d been through and to make sense of it all.
Meditation and Hot Yoga were my saviours and I still meditate every day to this day.
– Daily affirmations helped to build my resilience and confidence again when I felt like I had none left.
– I used journaling to process my thoughts and sometimes to evaluate things that had come up in therapy or reiki sessions.
– It was also a place where I could write things down that I still felt I wasn’t able to say out loud. Just being out in nature was also a lifeline. It reminded me to appreciate the small things in life and not take anything for granted.
I still practice all of these things, just not usually all at the same time. I lean on my tools when I need each one more than the other.
What this experience also taught me was that my life as it was, was not sustainable. So it was the catalyst for change. I started my first business in 2018 and it’s now an award-winning theatre school serving hundreds of young people with a thriving team of coaches and office staff. One of my proudest achievements.
And now life looks different. I help women to reclaim their voice, show up with unshakeable confidence, step into their CEO identity so they can lead with courage and earn the income they truly deserve.
If there is one message that I want to share, it’s this: you do not need permission to take up space.
– You do not need permission to speak up.
– You do not need anyone to give you the go-ahead.
Listen to your body and healing comes from the inside out.
Name: Savanna Madden
Professional Title: Confidence Coach For Women In Business
Bio: Savanna Madden is a Confidence Coach for women in business. She helps female entrepreneurs reclaim their voice, strengthen their self belief and step into their CEO identity so they can grow their income and lead with courage. Savanna blends lived experience, simple strategy and mindset work to create lasting transformation.
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