Overcoming Trauma: Your Path to Healing and Growth
I want to start this topic focusing on the fact that everyone has their own struggles and trauma. There is such a stigma surrounding talking about it, but the truth is, if we don’t heal and understand our own traumas, it can follow us our entire lives.
To start this conversation, it would make sense to know what my specific trauma had to do with it. I was diagnosed with Bipolar in 2010. A week-long delusional manic episode landed me in a cop car and subsequently the hospital, where I was diagnosed.
The reason I’m telling you this is that after, I suffered from clinical depression, I lost my sense of self, my entire identity was gone… I felt like I didn’t know how to be ‘me’ anymore. That my whole life and personality was a lie, and I was just a shadow of myself.
I relate what happened after my diagnosis to my own story of trauma, and that’s what we’re here to talk about. This story isn’t just about being diagnosed with a mental illness, it’s about the trauma that followed.
I think this is a subject so many people are scared to touch on because of the stigma that comes with mental health and related trauma.
Understanding Trauma and Its Different Forms
Trauma can be so many things to so many people.
It can be about abuse, toxic relationships, events that have occurred, mental illness diagnoses, loss… There’s a plethora of things that can happen in one’s life to derail it.
What I want to focus on here are a couple of points.
What is your current bottleneck or trauma that you need to heal from?
Who do you want to be in your life – who do you want to show up as?
What is the first thing you must do to get over the current hurdle?
This again, is SO different for many people.
The Importance of Healing and Stability
In any kind of trauma or state we’re in, healing and stability always comes first.
The thing that helped me the most, was understanding that it is about progress, not perfection, and that healing and making a comeback is a process.
You didn’t get here overnight, and you’re not going to come back overnight.
The thing that happened to me when I was diagnosed bipolar was the loss of self.
I lost who I was before. I thought my entire life and persona was a lie because I had just been manic my whole life.
What do you do when you think your life is a lie?
When you can’t move or communicate the same way, it’s a lot bigger than that even.
It’s not knowing how to be you.
The first step is stability and healing – what does that look like?
Key Steps to Healing: Support and Self-Honesty
First things first:
- Support system – who you have around you and in your corner MATTERS.
- Doctors, therapists, coaches, mentors, psychiatrists – and implementing what they say, and making the appointments a priority.
- Medications/Holistic Approaches – getting on medications, and vitamins, helping your body heal and your mind, not ONLY trying to heal your brain with pills MATTER.
What are you putting in your body, what extracurricular activities are you doing that could be hurting your wellbeing?
Being honest with yourself first, that’s what counts.
You are not here to compare yourself to others, you compare yourself to YOU.
The next thing to focus on is:
Pride – Self Worth – Independence
The thing that helped me most after the above, was how do I find pride and self-worth in myself again?
I got a puppy, and I had PRIDE in her, she was mine and I was hers, this brought back a sense of self.
I had something to focus on, I had her to be proud of which made me proud of me.
Independence helps a ton here because if we live our lives dependent on others, the government, our moms, our partners etc… This can bring down your sense of worth so focusing here is a must.
The next thing is Gratitude and MINDSET!!
I can roll my eyes at the word ‘mindset’ everyday because it’s said far too often, but what this is is a true belief system.
How we perceive the world matters. What we say matters. What we focus on, we create more of. If we focus on chaos and negativity and believing the world is awful, that’s all we’re going to find. The universe WILL answer.
If you focus on how to see the beauty everyday, your brain will appreciate and find the beauty in your days! It’s as simple as saying – I believe in a glass half full kind of mindset. That’s it.
Once you have these foundations in place, the world begins to open UP.
I cannot tell you how miserable I was in the beginning.
I blamed the world for my problems, I was jealous of all of my friends because nothing had happened to them. Why me? Why do I feel terrible, why do I have to take meds to be okay?
This isn’t FAIR!
Have you ever felt that way? I get it.
But allow me to let you in on a secret that’s not so secret – life isn’t fair.
If we live in a cup of soup of pity, self doubt, blame, guilt, we will be miserable forever.
The most successful people in the world see the world differently.
When I understood that this was just my cross to bear, that this was the card I was dealt, and it’s up to no one but me to get better. I took ownership and responsibility of my life for the first time ever. The world opened.
What if we could ask ourselves this question every time – “How do I make this experience better?”
Who can I go to for help?
Who can I make this about instead of me?
You see, distraction, keeping busy, and helping others is the solution so many times.
But sometimes, if we need to heal from something, we need to lean into that healing journey.
I ask you this – come into your days looking for gratitude and beauty, then ask yourself, what is my BEST next step to mental health freedom?
Let’s go find YOUR magic.
About the Author
Name: Phylecia Kellar
Bio: Phylecia Kellar is an author, speaker, sales professional, creator of the Ballin And Bipolar podcast, and inspiring Bipolar Success Coach for others who face mental health diagnoses. After her first manic episode in 2009 ended her life as she had always known it, Phylecia embarked on a multi-year journey to rediscover herself, build a new belief system, create stability, embrace her diagnosis, and create a life of happiness, gratitude, magic, and giving.
Social Media Handle:
Link for FREE GIFT!
www.ballinandbipolar.com/free-gift
Book:
