Embracing Life as a Neurodivergent Woman With Invisible Disability
It has taken me over 30 years to fully embrace my identity as a neurodivergent, Christian, Filipino-Australian woman with ‘invisible’ disability (as a result of chronic pain, endometriosis, anxiety, depression, insomnia), without feeling ashamed.
I think it’s because I have experienced recurrent discrimination for most of my life in Australia, including (inter alia) gender, cultural, social, racial, educational and workplace discrimination. I think it’s because of the significant and persistent stigma attached to ‘invisible’ disability because it can’t be seen by the naked eye. I think it’s because I’ve spent most of life feeling like an alien sent to live in a world that wasn’t designed for me.
It doesn’t seem to have mattered that I have lived in Australia since childhood; that I completed all of my education here; that I am fluent in English and possess higher education; that I am a published author; and have been part of various multicultural communities in South-East Queensland. All of my lived experience, and the different facets of my being, have not protected me from the discrimination and subsequent trauma I have suffered for most of my life.
Trauma as a result of recurrent discrimination since childhood has had a profound impact on my self-esteem, health and wellbeing; and my ability to develop a positive self-identity. I have lost count of the number of instances where I have been misunderstood and dismissed by trusted adults and peers, and ignorant and rude members of my community; exposed to racist and sexist remarks and behaviours; and gaslit by healthcare professionals who assumed they knew enough about me to ignore and dismiss all of my attempts at self-advocacy in periods of illness and injury.
Sometimes when I reflect on my transitions from adolescence to teenagehood, and then to adulthood; I wonder how I survived all the trauma of being subjected to systems and environments for education and employment that were designed for neurotypical and able-bodied people with English as their primary language. On top of all of this, growing up a Catholic, the notion of “Catholic guilt” has often reinforced my internal feelings of unworthiness and self-loathing.
Struggles With Diagnosis and Medical Systems
I openly ‘came out’ as a neurodivergent woman with Autism and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (I use the term ‘AuDHDer’) when I was 36 years old; but only after much time, money and energy were wasted trying and failing to get a formal diagnosis through medical professionals who were supposedly specialists in this field of practice. I was apparently “too high functioning” to meet diagnostic criteria.
Trying and failing to get a diagnosis significantly triggered my rejection sensitive dysphoria, which resulted in a major relapse of anxiety and depression that endured for several months. When I had recovered from my relapse, I eventually accepted I hadn’t failed the process, but the medical system had failed me.
This recent traumatic experience affirmed for me how much work is needed to improve the systems, processes, research and professional education and training we have so we can better support neurodivergent women with ‘invisible disability’, and who are culturally and linguistically diverse. Women like me are not simply a sum of body parts that can be subdivided and ‘treated’ – we are complex beings with a mind, body and spirit.
We cannot continue to be subjected to outdated and ineffective medical models of health; instead we need to be viewed and treated as a whole being, holistically, with a biopsychosocial model of health, wellbeing and disability. We need to have our voices acknowledged, heard and respected. Otherwise, we will continue to be subjected to recurrent trauma, from which we may never recover.
Choosing Growth and Emotional Resilience
Although it has been a difficult journey, I am ultimately grateful for my upbringing, experiences, lessons and blessings. I have a loving family, a soon-to-be-husband who loves me unconditionally, close friends, and clients who I enjoy working with. Instead of being a victim paralysed by and embittered by trauma; I choose every day to be the heroine of my story and take small steps forward into post-traumatic growth.
I take responsibility for my emotions, and use my emotional intelligence to protect my mental health and cultivate healthy relationships, as the Founder of Succour and Balance Empire and author Ifeoma Ugboma outlined in ‘The Emotionally Intelligent Woman’ article featured in Women Thrive Magazine on March 3, 2025.
My lived experience now informs the work I do with neurodivergent individuals with ‘invisible disability’, who resonate with so much of my life story. Serving others with authenticity has been incredibly empowering for me as an occupational therapy entrepreneur; a purpose I have in common with the Motivational Speaker and author of the ‘My Disability Is My Superpower’ article featured in Women Thrive Magazine on March 3, 2025.
Finally, I have embraced my ‘ikigai’ (Miralles & Garcia, 2017), or my reason to get out of bed each day; through the beautiful intersectionality between what I love doing (my passion), what the world needs (my mission), what I can do well (my profession), and what I can get paid to do (my vocation), despite recurrent trauma.
I hope this article resonates with you, the reader, and inspires you to:
- a) Reflect on how your own identity has been shaped by your upbringing, culture, community, values, beliefs and life experiences;
- b) Take steps to acknowledge and start to heal from your own trauma; and
- c) Identify and embrace your ‘ikigai’ – the reason you get out of bed each day, and the culmination of your passion, mission, profession and vocation.
About the Author
Name: Dr Micah Perez
Professional Title: Occupational Therapist
Bio: Female (she/her) Occupational Therapy Entrepreneur, Christian, Filipino-Australian AuDHDer with ‘invisible’ disability; Founder and Director of Neurodiverse Therapies
