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More Than a Mom: From Guilt to Grace & Gratitude

More Than a Mom: From Guilt to Grace & Gratitude

In February 2018, I found myself as a first-time mom.

Up until that point, I had been going through all the typical motions of life – finding a good job, finding a partner, and now becoming a mother. Aside from motherhood, I came to realize very clearly that all of those things were stepping stones laid out for me by other people – by society. The college degree, the stable government job – both of which I, frankly, had no care for – were all the preconceived necessities I was on autopilot to check off my life’s to-do list.

Mom with her kidsIn terms of motherhood, however, I always knew that would be part of my journey. I always wanted to be a mom and in 2018, there I was. On the other hand, I also knew I was meant for something bigger than myself. Since high school, I knew I was going to be an entrepreneur. I had every belief that I’d eventually step into my role as a visionary and truly make an impact on the world around me. But the burning question started looming. Was it possible for that grand vision to coincide with motherhood? I now had a growing human to care for and give my all to. Was I really going to choose to spend my time and energy elsewhere when I had such a critical role to play in my daughter’s growth and development? Cue the mom guilt.

It’s not about conquering the mom guilt. It’s about reframing your perspective and leading with grace

For all my moms out there, we know mom guilt is a very real thing and often a very paralyzing thing when it comes to making progress in our businesses. Unfortunately, while there are ways to overcome it, I think there will always be morsels of it that linger or pop up from time to time. But when the mom guilt does come up, there are three steps you can take to move past it toward the direction of your dreams – both personal and professional.

Embracing Motherhood: Moving Beyond Guilt to Grace & Gratitude

Step 1: Acknowledge your feelings 

Your thoughts are valid and the fact that you feel guilt for needing or wanting to step away from your child(ren) to focus on your business is a reflection of the incredible and loving mother you are. It is normal to feel the way you do and, most importantly, it’s okay to want to be present with your child(ren) and want to have time to be present in your business.

Step 2: Reframe your perspective 

While mom guilt is common, it’s important to note that it is often incredibly short-sighted. Why are you stepping away? I know it’s not because you don’t prioritize your family or the time you spend with them. More likely than not, you’re doing it for them, even if in that moment it feels very much just for you. I mean, isn’t at least part of your goal to become successful to be able to create the financial stability and time freedom that will allow you as a family to live a better life? This is what I want you to focus on. The delicate dance of motherhood and entrepreneurship is just as much about giving yourself grace as it is about the sacrifices that tend to be the primary talking point when it comes to mompreneur life.

While making the choice to pursue this dream can at times feel selfish, it’s often quite the opposite. Making this choice and giving it all you have is setting an example to everyone around you, especially your child(ren), that not only is anything possible but that they are worthy of creating something that means more to them than just checking off one of society’s boxes – that they are worthy of happiness – that you are worthy of it too and you’re standing there as a first-hand role model owning it. Making the choice to pursue this dream you have is not selfish; it’s significant, impactful, and it may just be one of the best decisions you’ll ever make.

Step 3: Prioritize yourself & honor your voice. 

Mama, you have to fill your cup too. This step continues to build on reframing your perspective but emphasizes the part where you do put yourself first. Assuming you’ve stepped into an entrepreneurial role that you feel truly passionate about, putting in the time and effort into your work lights you up, excites you, inspires you and motivates you to continue doing and being better. Recognize that all of those things are allowing you to reset from the daily stresses of motherhood, elevate to your highest self, and ultimately, come back to your child(ren) with the opportunity to be a better mother. Start viewing your work that you feel so passionately about as a form of self-love, so that you can pour from your fullest cup. Know that when you are stepping into your power, honoring yourself and your voice, you are also honoring and empowering your child(ren) and the world around you to do the same. Yes, you can be a phenomenal mom and also be more than just a mom.

When I stepped into my entrepreneurial role, I not only bet on myself, but I made a commitment to myself and to my family that I was no longer going to let anyone else pave my path, and that I was going to start creating the life I always knew I was meant for – which includes being the best mom I can be.

Every moment of my business has become a learning opportunity for both myself and my children. Every moment that I’ve allowed myself to step away to fuel my entrepreneurial spirit with the ambition and encouragement of like-minded women has allowed me to return home to my children as a much better mother – a more fulfilled, passionate, empathetic, and patient mother. Every grain of guilt I’ve felt in the past or may continue to feel in the future transforms into an ounce of gratitude and growth in grace. I am a mom – but that’s not all I am.


About the Author

Women Thrive Magazine Article Author - Krystal Jugarap

Name: Krystal Jugarap

Professional Title: Founder of BOOKofBIJOUX and EM/POWEREDbyWMN

Bio: Krystal Jugarap is the CEO and Founder of BOOKofBIJOUX and EM/POWEREDbyWMN. She is also the mother to two beautiful young girls Leila Rey and Evelyn and is also expecting her first baby boy in March! As a mompreneur, she has a deep admiration for other women who are also pursuing their passions, paving their own entrepreneurial paths, and consequently serving as crucial role models for future generations of women. Through her EM/POWEREDbyWMN platform, she has cultivated a community that continues to uplift women in entrepreneurship through vendor fairs as well as their online Woman Owned Small Business Directory. She is also dedicated to fostering genuine connections within the small business community and providing engaging speaking opportunities through intimate networking events. In a nutshell, Krystal’s mission in life is really to serve as a reminder to all women, especially moms, that they are not only capable but so worthy of creating lives they love.

Website: empoweredbywmn.com

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Media platform spotlighting and celebrating entrepreneurial women and their achievements. Creating a platform where every woman can be seen and heard. We are disrupting the media industry by democratising media channels for women. If you have a business or an idea and you would like to rise and thrive, you are in the right place.

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