Embracing the Realities of Physical Aging
Bette Davis knew of what she spoke when she said, “Old age ain’t for sissies.” Look at her in “Now Voyager” first, and then watch “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane.”
My adorable and adoring third husband, Dr. Katz, called me “The Face.” He thought I was beautiful. He’s gone now, but I don’t think he would call me that anymore. As a lifelong “glass half full” person, I don’t dwell on what’s lost, and endeavor to keep my focus—and positivity—on what’s gained.
At 83, I’m good at what I do, and people still trust me to help them become successful authors. My grown children are great people, so that’s a worry I don’t have. I have a decent nest egg I worked hard for and a great financial planner to help me, so I don’t have to worry about the bills too much. I’m healthy and don’t take any prescription drugs.
But I have lost some things: my short-term memory could be better. My balance is precarious. I used to be 5’6” and now I am 5’4 and probably still shrinking. I am hoping OsteoStrong and StretchLab can help me move better and stop shrinking.
I used to love the cold weather. Now I hate it and won’t go out if it’s 30 degrees or below. All my fur coats are long gone, probably with good reason but they did keep me warm. I have not been on a subway in three years. I take far too many cabs and cars and watch too much TV. I no longer drive and am not a fan of either long car rides or long airplane trips. I miss my brother in Arlington, Texas but I can’t live anywhere but Manhattan, which I actually think is a great place to BE old. Everything is right there at your beck and call. You have to afford it of course. But if you have the ambition and energy this is a great place to find opportunities to master business and life.
Advice for Younger Generations
Just don’t be surprised when you window shop, and the face in the window reminds you of your Bubby or Nanna or Nonna. What I tell younger women is this: loving yourself through all the stages and ages of your life takes an act of will. Be as loving and kind and generous to yourself as you would be to others as they age. Appreciate the body that has served you so well, and embrace it, wrinkles and extra padding and all. Be grateful you are still alive—that’s how I look at it. Many people don’t get to my age. Others make it to 120. I am not expecting that, but I am grateful to be in the game and will continue to play full-out for as long as I can—even with the occasional lapses and imbalances and fears I never had before. Feeling a bit more vulnerable as a senior—okay a lot more—is not unusual. I can’t run as fast—even to catch the bus— or climb flights of steps and hilly streets the same way. But I am wise in ways I was not in my early incarnations, and willing to share those insights with anyone who will listen.
Still, there are some bad days—thankfully few—when I look at my former self and wish I had appreciated the beauty, energy and joyful promise of youth more than I did back then, when I had it.
All this, my fellow older humans—is to say that you are not alone. We share many of the same concerns and regrets. I send you my love, and if you care to, please send me YOUR thoughts on aging to my email – jkatzcreative@gmail.com.
