What is Emotional Intelligence and Why It Matters for Women
Emotions influence the way you think, talk, your decision-making power, and the way you interact with people.
‘’Imagine being able to control and express your emotions while responding to people and circumstances especially in an unfavorable atmosphere or circumstances without being worked up emotionally, stressed or hurting people’s feelings.”
That is the magic which only practicing emotional intelligence can do. We all have different personality types, interests, wants and needs, different ways of showing our emotions so ability to navigate through them requires being clever. This is where emotional intelligence becomes important
So I will be talking to you on “The emotionally intelligent woman”.
Understanding Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is a combination of two words: “emotions” and “intelligence”.
- Emotion is a person’s internal state of being, how you feel on your inside which determines your response to things or people around you.
- Intelligence is the ability of the mind to understand principles, facts, acquire knowledge and put it into practice.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to be aware of, control and express one’s emotions while handling situations and interpersonal relationships adequately.
Your ability to understand, interpret and respond to the emotions of others well enough is a pointer to practicing emotional intelligence.
So an emotionally intelligent woman is one who is aware of her emotions, has control over her emotions and expresses her emotions adequately regardless of the triggers from external factors.
Managing emotions as a woman is very important especially in situations where you are under pressure from family challenges, relationship issues with your partner, dealing with stubborn children, business issues, meeting tight deadlines at work, dealing with difficult colleagues, when angered etc.
On dealing with tight deadlines, years back I remember having to meet up with extremely large weekly reports and performances. This wasn’t easy as I was juggling the both as a business development executive and having a regional manager who I reported to and who kept me on my toes to deliver against all odds. It got to a point where I was under so much pressure to deliver some weekly reports and my manager then couldn’t give me a date extension, knowing I worked for days outside my state of residence. As a result, I started losing my peace and emotional stability. I remember my male cousin calling me to check up on me and amidst tears I told him my ordeal and he asked me three questions that restructured my emotional management ability.
He asked, “when will you start absorbing pressure, when will you start having a hold on your emotions especially when faced with overwhelming situations, for how long will you allow your manager to mess up your emotional wellbeing?” Then he told me to practice the art of emotional intelligence, and said it would really help me. That was it – he hung up.
His words came on me like cold water poured from my head to my toes, like a resetting of my whole being and from that day I took full responsibility for my emotions.
Taking Responsibility for Your Emotions
I noticed as I took full responsibility for my emotions, I started influencing the way my manager responded to me even when I couldn’t meet up the deadline for reports submission. I told him beforehand and made sure I delivered on the day and time I told him I would. Sometimes he accepted this, sometimes he disagreed but I didn’t allow that to affect me negatively, whereas before I would have felt hurt or shed tears.
You can function as an emotionally intelligent woman through these ways:
- Being aware of how you feel on your inside (Self-awareness).
- Being able to control or manage how you feel on your inside(Self -control).
- Learning to maintain emotional balance during stressful situations or when feeling negative emotions.
- Understanding and influencing other people’s emotions positively and applying empathy while relating with them.
- Engaging the pause, think and respond rule during conflicts.
- Knowing how to express your feelings clearly and assertively under the right atmosphere without resorting to aggression or passivity.
- Being emotionally logical in your reasoning; don’t allow your feelings to cloud your judgment.
- Listening to understand first, before responding.
- Accepting and learning from criticism.
- Knowing how to manage relationships and connect with others on an emotional level while setting healthy boundaries.
Emotional intelligence has powerful benefits:
- It helps you to be successful in your personal family life, business and career and fosters healthy relationships.
- It helps you have uncomfortable conversations without hurting the other person’s feelings.
- It helps you manage your emotions when stressed or feeling overwhelmed.
CONCLUSION
We are a product of our emotions; it is what we feel on our inside that determines our response to the outside world. Feelings are situational so you have to master your emotions first before you can manage both them and the situation.
Emotional intelligence is a skill that can be learnt over time and you get better at it when you keep practicing it.
Are you struggling with managing your emotions, especially when faced with overwhelming life challenges? If the answer is yes, then it’s time to learn the art of practicing emotional intelligence.
About the Author
Name: Ifeoma Ugboma
Professional Title: Author, counselor, therapist – Founder; Succour and Balance Empire
Bio: Ifeoma Linda Ugboma is an author, speaker, trainer, multiple award winning relationship coach, a Certified Marriage and Family Counselor from The institute of Marriage and Family Affairs Texas, USA and also has certifications in Grief, Loss, trauma and Addiction Counseling, Life coaching, Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Psychotherapy.
