Big Transitions and Pleasure
Big transitions, even the ones we choose, can be rough. But the ones that find you in the bathtub with an open bottle of wine while ugly crying are downright brutal for every part of your being.
In those moments, when it likely feels harder to access, that is when we need to lean even more into pleasure and desire.
They are truly the most versatile and important tools you have, and we all have them. They can lift you out of a bleh mood all the way through helping you create your roadmap to true joy and deep personal fulfillment.
Understanding Desire and Pleasure
If you are one of the many women who are not feeling connected to your pleasure and desire right now, that is understandable, and it is ok. If you would like to change that, it is absolutely possible, and we’ll talk more towards the end.
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
– Yes, I am thinking about beautiful intentional self-pleasure in an intimate way.
– But I am also writing about those moments where you need to stop thinking and just watch funny cat videos.
Both are valid. Both provide rest and inspiration. Both can lift the corners of your mouth and your emotional baseline.
Impact of Transitions
As I started with, transitions wreak havoc in our brains and our bodies. We are wired to interpret changes in the regular routine as potential threats. During that time, we are in a constant state of disquiet, hyper-awareness, exhaustion, etc.
Unfortunately, that’s not what we tend to do. Many of us were taught that our needs and wants were not important, especially during difficult moments.
Making Changes
Science has demonstrated that the best way to effectively make real lasting changes is to:
1. Build momentum with regular practice.
2. Celebrate the small wins along the way.
– Feeling good feels good in our bodies and brains.
– Using it as a tool with the added bonus of it feeling good is beneficial.
Listening to Desire
– Understand what it is you want and what feels good.
– This helps align your path so you know what you are aiming for.
Techniques for Calming the Nervous System
The web is full of different breathing techniques designed to calm our nervous system. Research what works for you, and practice them when you aren’t stressed.
Action Step: If you are unsure what desire and pleasure feel like anymore, start by being kind to yourself.
– Set a timer and prioritize YOU for just a few minutes every day.
– This doesn’t have to be big; it just has to feel pleasant, like drinking tea or watching a sunset.
Tune into Pleasure
– If you are comfortable with pleasure, tune into it to guide you.
– Set an intention before enjoying something.
When we remind ourselves that we can be trusted and value feeling good, those desires will lead us to places that feel like home.
You deserve that.
Name: Gwyn Isaacs
Professional Title: Certifed Clinical Sexologist
Bio: Gwyn Isaacs, coach and host of the What Excites Us! podcast helps women untangle shame, reconnect with their pleasure. Her work is grounded in psychology and trauma-informed care, delivered with warmth, compassion, and the right amount of pushing. She’s a geeky mom to five, and still collects LPs.
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