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Climbing out of the Passion Pit: 3 Ways to Reclaim Intimacy in Marriage

Climbing out of the Passion Pit: 3 Ways to Reclaim Intimacy in Marriage

Time and trauma can cause a riff in the sexual relationship of even the most steadfast couples. Here’s how to rekindle intimacy in marriage once again. 

As a relationship coach and healer, I can assure you that no one is able to circumvent falling into the passion pit every now and then. From high school sweethearts to new loves and old flames, intimacy in marriage becomes a stumbling block for couples of every background and in just about every stage of a relationship. With intimacy having such an impact on overall happiness in marriage, reclaiming these most private parts of relationships is more important than ever. In fact, the National Library of Medicine found in a recent study that there is a significant correlation between sexual satisfaction and marriage satisfaction. What does this mean for you and your partner? If you are getting it on in the bedroom, chances are, you are getting along outside of the bedroom, too.

I have had the opportunity to talk about sex with countless couples, and have found that reclaiming this intimacy in marriage can be broken down into three key parts:

3 Ways to Reclaim Intimacy in Marriage

  1. Rebuilding your relationship foundation

  2. Reconnecting with your partner and

  3. Revamping your long-term intimacy goals

Here’s how to use these aspects to take the reins of intimacy in marriage, and reap the benefits for long-term satisfaction in (and out!) of the bedroom.

Rebuild: Creating a Foundation for Intimacy in Marriage

Reconnecting with your own sexual desires is crucial for creating a foundation for intimacy in marriage and is the first step in rekindling sex in marriage. For many of us, talking about pleasure and personal sexual preferences gives us cold sweats, but knowing what turns you on (and off!) is critical for refreshing intimacy in marriage. As you reconnect with your true longings in bed, consider things that boost your passion outside of the sexual realm. Do hugs make you feel a wave of love? Is holding hands an intense turn-on? Make note of these items, they will help in the long run!

It may be easy to make note of your desires, but sharing these desires with your partner requires a whole lot of intimacy – and a whole lot of trust! Keep in mind that recreating trust can take time. Small steps, such as intentional quality time with each other (or a spontaneous sexy text message!) can lead to open communication of your desires and a healthier level of intimacy.

Reconnect: Finding Closeness for Intimacy in Marriage

Sometimes, something new and fresh in the bedroom can serve as a powerful reset for intimacy in marriage. But before you reject the idea of “spicing things up” with thoughts of fluffy handcuffs, consider role play, sensual massage, or sexual reflexology to rekindle sparks in the bedroom. These minor changes can create a big difference! Whatever you decide, ensure that both partners are enthusiastic, and keep in mind it’s okay to take it slow (and sometimes extremely sexy to do so.)

It’s one of the wonders of human sexuality, but keep in mind that sometimes getting in the mood has nothing to do with physical touch. Intimate conversations, flirty emails, or even a genuine compliment can increase closeness with your partner and set the stage for deeper physical intimacy in marriage. (Consider these actions as an extended foreplay that allows intimacy in marriage to occupy your mind long before you make it to the bedroom.)

Revamp: Longterm Sparks for Intimacy in Marriage 

A romantic atmosphere puts thought and intention behind intimacy in marriage. This starts with an uncluttered ambiance in your bedroom, free from kids and other distractions (this means phones and TVs, friends!) If possible, plan a weekend getaway to reconnect with the fire and passion between you and your partner, and challenge yourselves to unplug for the weekend (I promise, Instagram can wait for a few days.) And finally, don’t underestimate the power of a vow renewal ceremony. Surrounding yourself with family and friends to publicly declare your commitment to renewed physical and emotional intimacy in marriage can create lasting change, and provides a fun excuse to dress up and take photos symbolic of this big love. 

I also recommend writing down your long-term vision for intimacy in marriage, and be sure to discuss what derailed your sex life in the first place. Studies show that relationships based on communication correlate positively with sexual satisfaction, and I can tell you firsthand that the extra conversations are worth the pleasure that ensues. Talk it out ahead of time, and come up with a proactive plan for getting out of a rut in the future!

Long-Term Passion and Intimacy in Marriage

No matter where your relationship has taken you in the past, there is always the opportunity to reclaim intimacy in your marriage and create the type of divine union that both you and your partner deserve. Humans are sexual creatures, and we are deserving of finding pleasure, satisfaction, and even some play when it comes to intimacy in marriage. With open communication and a healthy dose of vulnerability, you can reclaim intimacy, climb out of the passion pit, and step into your deepest connection yet.


About the Author

Author - Nada Lyon

Name: Nada Lyon

Professional Title: Relationship Coach and Ascension Guide

Bio:  Nada stands out as an acclaimed therapist, healer, and international speaker with a rich tapestry of experience and wisdom. Since launching New Earth Masters and The Ascension Academy in 2015, she has passionately committed herself to holistic healing, touching countless lives. Beyond her healing work, she’s a published author, whose writings echo her profound insights into human connections and spiritual realms. Today, she predominantly focuses on her flagship initiative, Divine Union Academy. This program is uniquely designed to help individuals cultivate and master relationships, underpinned by Deep Love, Soulful Intimacy, and Sacred Sexuality. Residing in the serene landscapes of Bali, Nada draws daily inspiration from the surroundings and the joys of life shared with her loving husband and spirited 16-year-old son. Her purpose-driven life, the successes of her ventures, and the transformative impact she’s had on individuals worldwide solidify her reputation as a guiding light in the intricate world of relationships and spiritual ascension.

Website: newearthmasters.com

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Media platform spotlighting and celebrating entrepreneurial women and their achievements. Creating a platform where every woman can be seen and heard. We are disrupting the media industry by democratising media channels for women. If you have a business or an idea and you would like to rise and thrive, you are in the right place.

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