In our society, we are often conditioned to believe that power, recognition, and external validation are the keys to happiness and fulfillment. We chase after promotions, accolades, and seats at the table, believing that being seen by our peers and receiving praise from others will bring us lasting satisfaction and authentic happiness. However, what if I told you that this pursuit of power is just a myth?
As a woman who has climbed the corporate ladder and experienced the fleeting thrill of recognition from her peers, I can attest to the emptiness that often lies beneath the surface.
Pursuing external validation can be a vicious, never-ending cycle of striving and chasing, leaving us exhausted, unfulfilled, and disconnected from our true selves. It is a relentless quest to prove our worth to the world, especially for women. The more we seek validation from external forces, the further we drift from our true selves.
Authentic Happiness and the Illusion of Success
As showcased in Women Thrive Magazine’s December 2025 edition, the expectation that women can “have it all” often creates exhausting pressure that damages both well-being and authentic fulfillment (Kovacs-Resnik, 2025). You can read more about it here: Women Thrive Magazine
Authentic happiness and fulfillment do not come from the accolades or recognition of others. They come from within, living authentically, pursuing our passions, and nurturing our relationships. It is about finding meaning and purpose in our lives rather than constantly seeking validation from external sources.
A few years ago, I decided to pivot from the corporate world and forge my path, embracing my passion for creativity and self-expression. Along the way, I discovered that true happiness lies in listening to my inner voice, honoring my values, and prioritizing my well-being over the demands of my professional life.
Your sense of self-worth should always come from your ability to recognize your accomplishments and hear your voice, no matter who recognizes it externally.
After many years of climbing, I finally sat at that proverbial boardroom table, surrounded by the top CEOs and executives seeking my advice, and I could not shake the nagging feeling that something was missing. I finally sat in the corner office, and I felt let down. I was tired and uninspired.
In the high-pressure environment of corporate life and even entrepreneurship, it is easy to get swept up in the pursuit of power and external validation. As the first female in my family to attain a college education and climb the ranks within an organization, I felt the weight of expectations and the drive to prove myself at every turn.
However, amidst the accolades and achievements, I could not shake the feeling that something essential was missing. Despite reaching the pinnacle of success, I realized I was living as a shell of myself, deprived of the authenticity, self-expression, and creativity I yearned for.
Authentic Happiness and Living in Alignment
It took me some time to recognize that true fulfillment does not stem from external validation or the approval of others. I was burnt out and needed time to heal. It was about honoring my deepest values and desires, even if they diverge from the path of conventional success.
According to the American Psychological Association, burnout is now widely recognized as resulting from prolonged workplace stress that has not been effectively managed. You can find more information here: Workplace Burnout.
Creativity as a Path to Authentic Happiness
This meant acknowledging my innate need for creativity and self-expression and embracing the desire to color outside the lines. Without art and creativity, I would only allow half of myself to exist. Thus, I consciously decided to carve out space for creativity and infuse my life with the colors found in nature.
As we age, we often realize that true happiness is found in simple moments, like spending time with loved ones, pursuing our passions, and being true to ourselves. We learn to listen to our bodies and pay attention to the signals they send us. If you constantly feel exhausted, anxious, or unwell, it may be a sign that you are out of alignment with your true self.
“Over the past four decades, experimental and field research guided by self-determination theory (SDT; Ryan and Deci, 2017) has found intrinsic motivation to predict enhanced learning, performance, creativity, optimal development, and psychological wellness.” You can view the research here: Self-Determination Theory.
Yes, we do have to make a living; however, take some time for yourself to pursue your creative self. Everyone has a creative self; all you need to do is try to explore. Paint, write, cook, draw, garden, design, or whatever your passion is; do it and breathe deeply into it.
Let go of the myth of power and external validation. Instead, focus on living authentically, cultivating meaningful connections, and finding joy in the present moment.
Action Step: Slow down and listen to yourself! Work hard, but remember that authentic happiness lies not in being seen by others but in being true to yourself and living a life that brings you genuine fulfillment and wellness. Try coloring outside the lines.
Name: Mary Madore Hickey
Professional Title: Founder/owner Merze Lifestyle
Bio: Mary is the founder of Merze Lifestyle, a platform devoted to intentional living. With over 25 years experience of advising senior leaders, she now writes and speaks on identity, alignment, and how women navigate the fullness of their lives through creativity, environment, and meaningful daily rituals.
Social Media Handles:
